The All Seattle Music Starting XI

March 13, 2017

Photo by Steven Bisig | Courtesy of USA Today

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It's soccer season again and the Sounders are defending champs. This year, they get to defend that title for the first time.

Folks over in Atlanta and New York put together their All [City] Hip Hop Starting XIs for 2017 (inspired by a Waka Flocka Flame tweet) and the teams look strong, but are they stronger than a team fielded by the city that is a hotbed for such a variety of music?

Let's find out by asking the question, if Seattle musicians were soccer players, who would make the squad? 

Like the previous blogs have mentioned, this isn't a list of the best musicians ever to come out of Seattle, but of 11 musicians who might have a little chemistry and fill the roles on the field under head coach Brian Schmetzer, playing the Sounders legend's 4-2-3-1 formation.

The rules:

  1. The musician must be alive. You can't kick a soccer ball if you've already kicked the bucket.
  2. Both women and men can be represented, unlike other lists. This is a made up team that will never play a game, so we can make up rules. Plus a team from Seattle without the Wilson sisters or a representative from Sleater-Kinnney would be just wrong.

Without further ado, here's our lineup, with explanations below:

GOALKEEPER
GK Duff McKagan (Guns N’ Roses)

At 6’3”, Duff is the same height as Seattle’s shot-stopper, Stefan Frei. A goalkeeper needs good hands and playing bass for one of the world’s biggest rock bands, Duff’s are as good as anyone’s. The 53-year-old goalkeeper is on the tail end of his career but shows few signs of age slowing him down between the sticks.

DEFENDERS
RB Sir Mix-a-lot
Because baby got right back (I promise no more dumb jokes).

CB pairing of Nancy and Ann Wilson
The Wilson sisters make a formidable pair in central defense for the team. They have chemistry, sure, but the intensity that these women provide is enough to make any attacker think twice when they're barreling into the sisters screaming "CRAZY ON YOU."

LB Ben Gibbard (Death Cab for Cutie)
He’s kind of like this team’s version of Sounders FC’s Brad Evans. Versatile, talented, and he’s been around long enough to provide a calm presence on the back line.

MIDFIELDERS
CM Chris Cornell (Soundgarden)*

Cornell is an integral part of the veteran midfield grunge triangle of Cornell, Grohl (Foo Fighters/Nirvana) and Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam). His strong defense and chemistry with Grohl and Vedder makes it difficult for opposing teams to work through the middle of the park.

CM Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters)
Grohl’s energetic presence is the ultimate utility for the Seattle midfield, allowing Cornell an outlet from the left to move the ball forward. Fearless, his tactics often result in injury (a broken leg leaving him unavailable for the team’s European tour last year), but there are seemingly no lingering effects.

RM Carrie Brownstein (Sleater-Kinney)
The Sleater-Kinney lead is multi-talented with a quick wit, but it's her dedication to the role that makes her a valuable asset on the right wing. Despite her apparent ties to a team down south, Brownstein is a Seattle Homegrown and would never dream of cheering for the other guys (unless it was an elaborate troll job).

CAM Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam) Seattle’s creative presence is one of the most well-known to the supporters and is a club legend among all who follow the team. The #10’s leadership, along with the way he links up with star striker Mike McCready, has supporters holding their breath every time he’s on the ball.

LM Macklemore
It's hard not to include Macklemore on this list as one of few musicians who remains so tied to the city despite his global fame. Like Sounders FC's Aaron Kovar, Macklemore is a Garfield High School alum and off the field, he is active in the community and grassroots organizations. It's good to have a humanitarian on the team.

FORWARDS
F Mike McCready (Pearl jam)
A hometown hero, McCready is one of the league’s top players and a future Hall of Famer, along with midfielder Eddie Vedder. McCready is well-known for making solo runs through the defense, providing an outlet for Vedder’s creative thru balls, which gives Seattle’s offense an Even Flow.

*This was written prior to Cornell's passing, but it felt wrong to take him off the list. 

SUBS
GK: Father John Misty, Chris Ballew (POTUSA)
D: Kenny G, Dave Matthews, Will Toledo (Car Seat Headrest)
M: Kris Orlowski, Robin Pecknold (Fleet Foxes)
F: Detlef Schrempf, Ryan Lewis

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