Alternative Election Round 1 Update:

October 4, 2016


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We are two days into the first-ever Alternative Election and votes are pouring in. Here's how the brackets break down so far:

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Matchup #1: Camacho (Idiocracy) vs. Schwarzenegger (The Simpsons Movie)
Will face winner of Bartlet vs. Grant

If you haven't seen Idiocracy with Terry Crews as President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, you probably don't realize how scary accurate it might be as a prediction for the future of America. That is possibly why President Camacho is crushing the short cameos that the Arnold Schwarzenegger-inspired president from The Simpsons Movie in the polls so far with over 75 percent of the vote.

Matchup #2: Jed Bartlet (The West Wing) vs. Fitzgerald Grant III (Scandal)
Will face winner of Camacho vs. Schwarzenegger

People really like The West Wing and in my experience, people who like The West Wing are a lot like people who do CrossFit or people who are vegan. If they like it, they will tell you about it. Needless to say, President Jed Bartlet played by Martin Sheen is waaaaay out in front of the murderous Fitzgerald Grant III. 

Matchup #3: Thomas J. Whitmore (Independence Day) vs. Mackenzie Allen (Commander In Chief)
Will face winner of Pedro vs. Steinbrenner

I'll be transparent and say that I think Bill Pullman could probably give his speech from Independence Day every day and would be the best real-world president the USA has ever seen. That being said, I am surprised the race between President Whitmore and President Mackenzie Allen is as close as it is, given how hard it is to find a speech of hers from the one-and-change season before it was cancelled. C'mon people. ALIENS.

Matchup #4: Pedro (Napoleon Dynamite) vs. Steinbrenner (Seinfeld)
Will face winner of Whitmore vs. Allen

This is another surprising one for me. The simple #VoteForPedro campaign is working wonders as the Napoleon Dynamite class president has taken a huge gain in the polls over the Yankees' President Steinbrenner as portrayed in Seinfeld. I definitely thought the Seinfeld fans would come out in full force, but Costanza must be out there running attack ads so he can get fired and take that Mets job.

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Matchup #5: David Palmer (24) vs. Allison Taylor (24)
Will face winner of Marshall vs. Asher

I didn't watch 24. I don't have an opinion about which president was better. So far Palmer leads the votes. Cool.

Matchup #6: James Marshall (Air Force One) vs. Benjamin Asher (Olympus Has Fallen)
Will face winner of Palmer vs. Taylor

There is one vote for Benjamin Asher. One. Uno. How this isn't completely unanimous in Harrison Ford's portayal of President James Marshall in Air Force One is beyond me. One person must really like Aaron Eckhart. Oh well.

Matchup #7: Frank Underwood (House Of Cards) vs. Tom Beck (Deep Impact)
Will face winner of Meyer vs. Kang/Kodos

Morgan Freeman is up against one of the best political series of all time. My vote is with Underwood in this one, but it's a tight race. Beck was instrumental in keeping the human race alive, Frank Underwood killed some people and is possibly the worst person of the human race, but Kevin Spacey is so damn good. 

Matchup #8: Selina Meyer (Veep) vs. Kang/Kodos (The Simpsons)
Will face winner of Underwood vs. Beck

Sorry if this is a spoiler, but Selina Meyer becoms president in Veep. It was three seasons ago. This is by far the closest race of the election so far. Kang and Kodos seem to be strong running mates, but Meyer is slightly ahead in the polls. Don't blame me. I voted for Kodos.

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The End’s Alternative Election is in no way a substitute for voting in the real elections. Duh! So be sure to take full advantage of your right to vote in this year’s elections and have your voice heard. Register today! The End’s Alternative Election is supported by Heritage Distilling Company.