Alternative Election: Who made it to the quarterfinals?

October 10, 2016

Supported by Heritage Distilling Company:

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The first-ever round of voting in The End's Alternative Election is in the books, so it's on to the quarterfinals. There were a few big winners and losers in the first round, now here's how things will shake down in Round 2, the quarterfinals.

VOTE: Quarterfinal vote is now open!

President Elizondo Herbert Mountain Dew Camacho (Idiocracy) vs. President Jed Bartlet (The West Wing)

No surprise here. Camacho might be an accurate portrayal of a future American president and he overcame The Simpsons' depiction of a President Arnold Schwarzenegger with 78 percent of the vote. In the other matchup, Jed Bartlet (arguably the best TV president of all time) overcame President Grant III from Scandal, with more than 80 percent of the vote. I don't know how I would vote in this round, but with those kinds of numbers, something tells me this will be one to watch.

My prediction: Bartlet and it won't be close (West Wing fans are NERDS)

Vote for Camacho vs. Bartlet

President Thomas J. Whitmore (Independence Day) vs. Pédro Sanchez (Napoleon Dynamite

In the battle of presidents in the private sector ('sup Herman Cain?) Pédro Sanchez, class president from Preston High School and best friend of Napoleon Dynamite, ran away with over two-thirds of the vote. I thought Seinfeld fans would show up for Steinbrenner, but no soup for you, Mr. Steinbrenner. On the other side of the ballot in this matchup stands Thomas J. Whitmore, the president who helped lead a worldwide Earth defense against aliens. He destroyed Mackenzie Allen who did not kill any aliens in her one season of television notability. 

My prediction: Whitmore with 60 percent of the vote.

Vote for Whitmore vs. Sanchez

President David Palmer (24) vs. President James Marshall (Air Force One)

I remember sitting in my grandma's house in the middle of Yakima in a back room watching Independence Day and Air Force One on a tiny fuzzy screen thinking to myself, "I wonder what would happen if it were aliens instead of Russians to get on Harrison Ford's plane?" Probably the same result, but still fun to picture Harrison Ford kicking an alien in the face NOT in the Star Wars universe while Will Smith flies Air Force One while smoking a cigar. 

My prediction: Harrison Ford could run the actual United States. President Marshall all the way. #FordSmith2020

Vote for Palmer vs. Marshall

President Frank Underwood (House Of Cards) vs. President Selena Meyer (Veep)

In the final vote on the ballot, it's two Vice Presidents who became President after scandal (House Of Cards) or caring for a sick spouse (Veep) brought their predecessors down. It's the ruthless and evil Underwood vs. the bumbling but powerful Meyer. Selena Meyer, the only female candidate still on the ballot, could be up for a tough task if she isn't "accidentally disposed of" by the Underwood campaign.

My prediction: Underwood, but only by a little bit. I would love to see that guy finally put in his place, though. 

Vote for Underwood vs. Meyer

The End’s Alternative Election is in no way a substitute for voting in the real elections. Duh! So be sure to take full advantage of your right to vote in this year’s elections and have your voice heard. Register now! The End’s Alternative Election is supported by Heritage Distilling Company.