Russian movie trailer / X-Men rip-off might be better than the real thing

January 12, 2017

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There's been interesting news out of Russia this week and I'm not talking about anything pee covered or hacked.

No, I am talking about the dope-ass trailer for a new Russian movie that is basically a total X-Men and Guardians of the Galaxy rip-off starring Manbearpig that looks like it might be better than any movie that has ever been made in America. The movie is even called Guardians. 

They have a giant pink guy, like Drax the Destroyer from Guardians of the Galaxy, but in Russia he has Darth Sidious force lightning. They have bad-guy Bucky from  Captain America, but he has teleportation powers and a bow. Plus, the Russian version of Black Widow (who is actually already Russian), rides a fricking bear into battle. 

To top it off, the trailer includes Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's "Waltz of the Flowers" playing throughout the trailer. SO RUSSIAN.

This is the equivalent of having an American trailer with all of those characters, a half man, half bald eagle character with a machine gun, a lady who rides a giant Garth Brooks into battle with a score composed by Ted Nugent who wrote every note by shooting his shotgun at a piano in the middle of the Rocky Mountains.

The trailer doesn't have subtitles, but who needs them?

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