The Mystery Pop Machine Is Missing!

We're guessing it will be replaced by 6ft2 studio apartment, $1100/mo

July 2, 2018
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It's like a scene out of a dystopian Japanese alter-reality, the lone standing, filthy, graffiti-covered pop machine on Seattle's Capitol Hill. No one knows who owns or maintains it. What we do know...

It's missing.

The machine in recent years has gained some national interest after a Vice article shined some light on what they think is a haunting... by ghosts. No one knows who maintains it. Vice asked the Broadway Locksmith - it's in front of this business that the gross machine sits - what they knew about it. They seemed as perplexed as the rest of us "'I’ve honestly never seen anyone open it,' offers Mickey, the locksmith business’s earnest-sounding general manager. 'Do people get soda out of it frequently?' I ask him 'Oh yeah, all the time. All day long,' he said. 'And yet in a decade-and-a-half, you’ve never seen anyone tampering with it or refilling it?' I asked. 'Nope.'”

That leaves me more confused about what provides power for this machine full of uncertain selections? Energon cubes? Are the Autobots running this thing? 

Is this oddity indeed coming back?
Will I be compelled into drinking yet another Mt Dew with the press of yet another mystery button?
Are the locksmiths lying to us?!

We'll update as the story develops.

Or the whole block will get torn down to build condos. Just ask Ben Gibbard.