Slow Down, The World Is Running Out Of Condoms!

If ever there was a business that needs to be deemed essential...

March 30, 2020

gettyimages // TethysImagingLLC


One of the biggest condom manufacturers in the world, Karex Bhd., is having trouble making rubbers, let alone meeting the demands of a bunch of horny humans being stuck inside for what looks like at least six weeks.

Just imagine the drain on supply.

  • What else are we gonna do stuck at home?
  • I don't want to spawn a human into this garbage era called the 20's.
  • You ever seen someone blow one of these up... with their nose?
  • "We're not into **** *****" WOW!
  • Ever seen Coneheads?

Bloomberg says: "The company produces for brands like Durex as well as its own line of specialty condoms such as Durian-flavored ones. It churns out more than 5 billion condoms a year and exports them to more than 140 countries." That's enough condoms for all the adults on Earth to do it safely once a year or for every adult in Washington state to do it two and half times a day! And that's just one of the five companies!

In the world of interconnectedness we're experiencing with new coronavirus perspective now, you find out pretty quickly that the things we deem essential are much different than that of just a month ago. Radio hosts with a connection to the internet - we don't need to be at work and should be sitting at home keeping the germs to ourselves. Nurses, doctors, and medical professionals - essential. Amazon programmer - home. Grocery store employees that people complain about paying enough to afford rent - ESSENTIAL. 

Anyway, this company, , says they only have a couple month supply stocked and production is down to meet the guidelines of the Malaysian government. Couple that with a double digit increase in demand and we're f*****.

Catholics are like "psshhht, whatever."