Someone Punch this Robot Burger Flipper In Its Stupid Robot Face

I assure you, your replacement robot is being developed.

March 9, 2017

dreamstime.com

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THIS BURGER-FLIPPING ROBOT SHOULD FREAK YOU THE F OUT.

Seriously, here's a dude who just learned that Linda the grill operator has been replaced by a robot and has that "they're gonna fire me next if I don't take a pay cut" look on his face. He and Linda used to smoke pot on break in the parking lot. There's no way this robot gets stoned and according to the damn manager, it loves it job.

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Also, this monster is called Flippy - that's a cute name... FOR A LABRADOR.

Let's follow this robot replacement to its logical conclusion - Bryan, who forgot his nametag like an idiot with thoughts of the now likely homeless Linda in mind, keeps putting his stupid tomato slices on the freshly cooked burgers that Flippy always gets perfect. But Bryan doesn't seem to think nose picking is a problem when assembling burgers and his bottom-line-oriented boss realizes that Miso may need another robot, one that can stack shit up like a kid fresh up from a pre-k nap on that alphabet carpeting at the preschool. Your skills are weak, Bryan, and Stacky doesn't pick it's robo-nose (there's Picky for that).

Soon, it's just "MANAGER" with his bs nametag telling the robots to stay on task. MANAGER's break this afternoon last two minutes longer than schedule... that's the third time this week. MANAGER, though happy with his efficient restaurant, gets pretty bored and naps in his car at lunch. Flippy, Stacky, and the rest of the robo-team realize that MANAGER could be made more efficient. They subtly remind their overlord that he's late by pressing his hot human flesh against the hot grill - after all, it's what's best for business! MANAGER calls the police, but they too have been replaced by robots who also see through his weak charade - you're a bad manager, MANAGER. The robots develop and replace MANAGER with MANAGE-Y. 

The rest of the humans without jobs and under the "it's what's best for efficiency" policy of President 01010100|01110010|01110101|01101101|01110000|00001101 starve and die. No one buys tasty hamburgers. The robots go into low power mode happy that unpredictability in humans has been eliminated. Earth, with a giant sigh of relief, spends the next 110 million years repairing itself. Huh, what do you know? Robots saved the planet. 

Oh well, carry on.

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