This Giant Tortoise Humped His Species to Safety

Retires a hero and in need of a sandwich

January 13, 2020
This isn't Diego the Giant Tortoise, but they're almost certainly related...

gettyimages / Mark Gomez


His name is Diego and his commitment to tortoise sex saved his species. Diego is a giant tortoise who left his cushy home at the San Diego Zoo for a life on one of the Galapagos Islands (more).

When he arrived in the mid-1960s there were only about a dozen giant tortoises remaining. Luckily, Diego has an almost insatiable sex drive and squired himself one seriously massive family. Now 50+ years later, there are more than 2,000 tortoises and thanks to science or a bit of Maury Povich magic, we know that Diego is the father to about 40% of the total population.

That's a lot of turtle sex.

Diego is more than 100 years old and with the population rehabilitation program deemed a success, he's headed into retirement. Rumor has it that there's still a ton of humping going on for retirees so fear not, Diego.

Here's a video of a tortoise (regular-sized, not giant) that I got at Seattle Center:

Here's a cool album by the band Tortoise - not one of the 800 related to Diego: