Why I'm Glad I Waited to Get Married

You be you, but I'm glad I went this way...

September 22, 2016
Gregr and Bride

by Iron Mike Savoia

Categories: 

I’m glad I waited to get married.

I have two older brothers by a wide margin - I’m the oops. They are 10 and 13 years older than me so as a kid I got to be in their weddings. I watched my many cousins of the older generation get married, too. Weddings are soooo boring when you’re a kid.

I’m glad I didn’t rush into marrying someone just because there was pressure to live that nuclear family life. I did it sort of backward. I got myself a dog and a car and we lived it up while many friends from my youth settled down, squeezed out some slimy headed debt and never got to run around with nothing to worry about but learning about themselves.

#Seattle @the_sockmonster made for some awesome wedding photos!

A photo posted by GREGR (@heygregr) on

I’m a grown ass man who spent 30+ years discovering humanity, drinking in culture  and making a ton of mistakes that didn’t sink a massive family ship, but instead only got my skiff off course. Now, with a greater capacity for the human experience, I’ve managed to find the right woman for me at a similar place on her journey.

I found the scary part of this waiting game was making the call not to settle down when I previously faced the chance. I certainly wasn’t ready, but there’s a weird thing in our culture of marketing and sitcoms that pressure us into making decisions that keep us from sticking out. SETTLE DOWN. GET A MORTGAGE. HATE YOUR FAMILY. *laugh track* There was more than a single time that I thought, “Well, this person is pretty ok, I guess this is it.”

Wrong.

What I’m finding as I reflect back on the weekend is a sense that I wasn’t ready to find the right person because I hadn’t found myself. Some Gladwell guy argues that it takes us 10,000 hours to master anything. Fine. What I’m thinking is that it takes about 30 years to understand oneself (35 if you’re a professional idiot clown in this case).

Last weekend, I made promises and said the "I do's" to a woman that I love - someone that on our first date I knew was right because I felt good about myself and was ready to be loved.

She would argue I still have a ways to go…

Whatever road works well for you is awesome. If your road seems blocked by fallen trees and boulders and bears and junk, take the time to learn about yourself. Unplug from the Netflix for a couple hours a week. Go outside without your headphones. Challenge yourself to find out who you are. It can be SO SCARY to delve into your own box of dark secrets, but the magic you’ll find in there if you do it is worth it.

Sparklers
by Grant Alexander