Being Sick SUCKS!

March 3, 2016

When I awoke Saturday morning with a killer headache and a slightly upset stomach, I figured it was a result of having a little too much fun the night before. Little did I know that I was about to be hit with one of the worst cases of the flu I've had in a long time.  I am going on day 5 of feeling somewhere between dead and wishing I was and I'm pretty over it.  There's really no other way to put it, being sick SUCKS.  Here's why-


Am I Hot? Am I Cold? WHAT AM I???

There is nothing more infuriating than not being able to regulate your body temperature.  One minute I'm freezing despite being under 4 blankets and wearing one of those puffy winter coats that rappers always sport. The next minute I'm in nothing but my chonies, laying in a pool of my own sweat. Dear body, pick a temperature and stick with it. Gosh.

Realizing You Pay WAY Too Much Money for WAY Too Many Channels That Don't Have Anything Worth Watching.

Let me tell you something right now.  2pm in the afternoon is a television dead zone.  There is literally nothing on.  When I was a kid I loved staying home and watching old Bat Man and Gilligan's Island reruns in between naps, it was the best!  Now I spend and ungodly amount of money on TV, Netflix, and all sorts of other streaming services only to realize that out of 80000 channels, there's only like 2 that show anything good. What's up with that?

That Weird Metallic Taste In Your Mouth

Seriously, what's that about?

Being Hungry But Afraid To Eat

Yesterday we got free Ezell's tenders for lunch at the station, except I was too chicken (pun intended!) to eat any, despite the fact that at this point I've been living on ginger ale and pop tarts for the last 4 days and am basically starving.  Starving is still better than throwing up, you guys.

Everyone Telling You Their Experience With The Flu

Your kid got it too and threw up all over the back of your van, Karen at the front desk? I do not care. Also, gross.  Ted from accounting had it and had the unfortunate simultaneous puke/poop scenario. YA NASTY TED!  Why are you telling me this???  Listen, the first day back at work is hard enough without having to hear everyone else's horror stories about their dealings with what I can only assume is some mutant form of influenza that will take us all. Cut that out.

Not Being Able to Enjoy A Day Off

The worst part of being sick with the flu, no question.  You decide to call in sick, you sleep in, you have the entire day to binge watch whatever or play tons of videogames. Awesome!  Except its not, because you are so sick that all you can really do is roll over from one side of the bed to the other and complain to no one about how you need some aspirin. No Fallout 4. No Broad City marathon. No fun. What a waste of a day off amirite?  Being sick SUCKS!  

Especially if you're a dude.