NFL Week 16 Preview: Happy Holidays to Everyone But Niners Fans

December 19, 2018

Hey Happy Holidays, you guys!  This will be the official last thing I do before I head out for vacation so get ready for 80% effort.  I hope you get all the presents, eat all the food, and survive extended time with your families.  Thanks to you, I get to live out my dream each and every day and thats the greatest present of all. Not saying I would be mad if you also sent more gifts to the station, just saying. Thats right! YOU > Santa.  See you in 2019! 


Washington vs Tennessee- Do they play the Denzel Washington speech from Remember the Titans before every game? Because they should, right?

Baltimore vs LA Chargers-  Don't look now but the Chargers might just be the best team in the AFC. <Chargers immediately lose by 30 this week>

Atlanta vs Carolina- Cam Newton seems like the type of player who will mail it in once his team has nothing to play for besides pride, doesn't he? 

Minnesota vs Detroit-  Do you know there is an Icelandic Christmas folktale about a black cat that eats anyone that didnt get new clothes as a gift?  The Gap totally made this up, right?

Houston vs Philadelphia- I fully support the Nick Foles comeback (again) tour and hope they win the Super Bowl again. 

Green Bay vs NY Jets- My favorite team only has one more win than the Jets??? <weeps uncontrollably>

NY Giants vs Indianapolis- Andrew Luck is quite a wordsmith, you guys.

Tampa Bay vs Dallas- You ever watch a Cowboys game and notice that everytime the cut to a shot of their coach, he looks like he absolutely hates the play he just called?  It makes me irrationally upset. 

Jacksonville vs Miami-  The loser of this game has to leave Florida!  

Buffalo vs New England-  Every hot take I saw this year was all about how Tom Brady was finally losing his edge, so I was quite surprised when I saw that he was elected to his 75th Pro Bowl this week. 

Cincinnati vs Cleveland-  Im not one to get too much in to the gambling aspects of sports, but it is worth noting that the Browns are favored by 9(!) points this week. That's their highest spread since Bernie Kozar and his flowing mullet were lined up behind center, probably. 

LA Rams vs Arizona- The Cardinals have lost by 30+ points 3 times this year.  Too bad this isn't like soccer where we could relegate them back to the NCAA and bring up Alabama or something. 

Chicago vs San Francisco-  Get ready for 7 zillion "Da Bears" references come playoff time!

Pittsburgh vs New Orleans-  If Pittsburgh wore those all black uniforms every week, I'd become a Steelers fan.

Kansas City vs Seattle-  Hard to believe the Seahawks blew it against the Niners last week.  As a Packer fan, please understand that I share Hawks fans disdain for the team from San Francisco.  You see, they cost my team a chance at the Super Bowl back in 1999 when Steve Young hit Terrell Owens in the endzone on the last play of the game to win the dang playoff game.  That was bad enough, but to make matters worse, Jerry frickin Rice FUMBLED a few plays earlier and it wasn't called.  I'm 10000% convinced that play is why instant replay was put back in the NFL.  I'm also 1000% convinced I will never forgive SF for that.

Denver vs Oakland- One of the things I'm looking most forward to next season is finding out where the Raiders are going to play.  Seriously, they don't have a stadium to play in.  That's awesome, because the Raider are a tire fire.  I hope they have to play on some janky high school field with crooked lines and those old school crossbars that are in the shape of an H.  I would go to a game just to boo the heck out of them, and then make out with my girlfriend under the bleachers afterwards. 


Last Week's Record- 9-7

Overall Record- 134-88-2