#sEATtle: Ballpark Food, Ranked

April 21, 2017

I like to eat. A lot. Food is bae. Therefore, I figured I would post reviews of the places I go to give you a little insight and maybe some ideas on where you might want to nom with your friends or special someones. Plus, it gives me an excuse to pig out on Seattle's best eats and not feel bad about it, because work!

Before we start, though, I want to make one thing perfectly clear, I am NOT a professional food nerd, nor do I want to be. I don't know the intricacies of French cooking. Heck, I don't even know how to spell "intricacies." It also means that if you ask me what the best burger is, I'll probably say Lil Woody's before I suggest any kind of "gourmet" burger, unless that gourmet burger has an egg on it. Then gourmet burger wins (any burger with an egg on it wins really.) Also, my idea of a fancy pizza is anything with more than two toppings. Basically what I'm getting at is consider these restaurant reviews for the common man/woman.

Got it? Good, let's roll!

• • •

Baseball season is here!  Last week we discussed all the new menu items at Safeco Field, this week we discuss the BEST things to nom on at any baseball game.

I mean, let's be honest, there isn't much action at a ball game, might as well treat yo'self to some tasty eats while you watch a grown man scratch himself in front of 20,000 people like its no big deal before delivering a pitch.


1. COTTON CANDY-  Lets just get this out of the way right now

2. PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS - I mean, they name check it during the most baseball song of all time, so peanuts and Cracker Jacks must make the list! But seriously, peanuts are the perfect snack while watching (sunflower seeds are the perfect snack while playing btw) a ball game.  You get to make a mess AND you have something do distract you from all the boring down time between pitches.  PERFECT!

3. GARLIC FRIES - A Safeco Field staple!  Crispy fried taters buried under a mountain of garlic and parmesan cheese.  Just make sure you eat them after you take a trip to The Pen, not before, because you don't make friends with garlic breath.

4. ANYTHING SERVED IN A PLASTIC SOUVENIR HELMET - There needs to be a study on why anything served in a souvenir container tastes better. C'mon science, get on it!  Whether it's an ice cream sundae or some big league nachos, any food that comes in something you get to add to your collection of crap you will never need but can't seem to get rid of deserves to make the list. 

5. HOT DOG - I simply can not take a trip to the ballpark without enjoying at least one hot dog. I like to grab a Seattle Dog down on Occidental a.k.a. Sausage Row before the game starts, then a Mariner dog around the 5th inning or so. It's a real sausage fest....wait. 

6. BEER - When you think about the sounds of baseball, you think the crack of the bat. The sound of the organ leading the fans in a cheer, and of course "Cold beer here!" bellowing from various vendors throughout the stadium. The mere mention of ice cold brew has woven itself in to the fabric of the game. How cool is that? Almost as cool as a nice tall brew of your choice.

7. DIPPIN DOTS - The dessert of the future!!! Dippin Dots are my jam, you guys!  I will fight anyone who disagrees with me on this. I remember going to games with my family when I was a kid and driving them crazy by bugging them for some mint chocolate chip DDs from the first pitch until they finally caved and bought me some.  Dippin Dots are lyfe!