#sEATtle: Stoneburner

June 23, 2017

I like to eat. A lot. Food is bae. Therefore, I figured I would post reviews of the places I go to give you a little insight and maybe some ideas on where you might want to nom with your friends or special someones. Plus, it gives me an excuse to pig out on Seattle's best eats and not feel bad about it, because work!

Before we start, though, I want to make one thing perfectly clear, I am NOT a professional food nerd, nor do I want to be. I don't know the intricacies of French cooking. Heck, I don't even know how to spell "intricacies." It also means that if you ask me what the best burger is, I'll probably say Lil Woody's before I suggest any kind of "gourmet" burger, unless that gourmet burger has an egg on it. Then gourmet burger wins (any burger with an egg on it wins really.) Also, my idea of a fancy pizza is anything with more than two toppings. Basically what I'm getting at is consider these restaurant reviews for the common man/woman.

Got it? Good, let's roll!


5214 Ballard Ave


Seattle is experiencing a major pizza boom these days, and whether you are starving for a Chicago Deep Dish (Windy City Pies!) or a late night after bar NY style slice (Big Mario's!) there is a place for you.  

Now when it comes to a sit down "artisanal" (aka fancy) pizza place, you know, the kind of spot you could take a date to that makes you look sophisticated but still allows you to eat delicious pizza instead of overpriced Brussels sprouts, I thought it was time to give Stoneburner a shot. Could the pizza match the amazing cocktails? Did I eat an entire pizza by myself? Let's find out! 


Pro tip: burrata is at least 600% better when you order it in an Oprah voice. "I'll take an order of burrrrrrrrrrr-at-ah!!!!!" and then do that wavey hands thing.  Really the best.  Shout outs to the pickled figs that came with this dish. 

Smoked tuna dip with sweet potato chips
To be honest, this sounded gross when my guest ordered it, but I was more than pleasantly surprised at how delicious it was.  So delicious, in fact, that it is making my rotation at this place going forward. 

Sopressata! Prosciutto! and more! Perfectly sliced, salty, and super flavorful. Stoneburner is definitely one of those places to take your boo boo and snack on meat and cheese while downing excellent cocktails. 

Pepperoni pizza
First and foremost, shout outs to all pizza places that use actual slices of mozzarella cheese instead of shredded. So much tastier! Stoneburner pies are fantastic. Not over sauced, plenty of gooey cheese, and they're cooked in a stone oven (hence the name, ya dingus!) which gives the crust a nice smokey char.  

The above photo is of our pepperoni/basic pie, and we also took out a fennel sausage and porcini one as well.  Credit to Stoneburner for going the artisanal route but not getting too wacky with it. My only complaint is that you gotta eat the pizza quick, or the cheese gets a little hard and the crust a little soggy. 

Reviewing pizza is nearly impossible because it's so subjective.  Some people are cracker crust while others are deep dishers. So I will say this. IF you want a more upscale pie than, say, Ian's but still want it to taste and feel like a real pizza, not a jacked up salad on top of some crust, Stoneburner is the place for you.  Did it overtake Big Mario's or Windy City as my favorite pizza in the city? Absolutely not. Would I recommend it for anyone in Ballard looking for a place to have some killer cocktails and some pizza that isn't going to require a nap or 4 Tums afterward? Absolutely. 

Go here if... you are on a date with your boo boo and in the mood for some fire craft cocktails and pizza.

Don't go here if... you've had three beers and are just looking for a good old fashioned sausage and pepperoni grease bomb. 

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