Two games into the tournament (or one if you’re Gregr) and we learned a few things. Mainly, MLS is crap, white shirts are see-through when wet #FreeTheNip, and we should all hold our ACLs a little more close. Dunking on MLS is still original and cool, right?
Time to change the name to the Most of MLS is back Cup! FC Dallas hit the long dusty highway home and Nashville seem ready to do the same, but Dr. Spaceman seems to think it’s still safe to play and that Don Garber’s Kissing Booth doesn’t break any public health guidelines. In 100 years, the best...
Are there Emos in Australia? The Retournament is somehow still happening despite FC Dallas coming down with so much COVID. Stretch ya neck with Raul. Come get a podcast sandwich of undercooked potatoes and Hot Garbage*. Stabby Rip Stab Stab

*Hot Garbage is no included on the all...
We found the Wizard Bird! By we, we mean you, and by you, we mean Jean and David. The Green Sounders look great, so let’s hope they play those guys in the Returnament. Florida is a HOT MESS but MLS seems to love a challenge, so far the tournament is still on. Could FC Dallas start without their...

2020 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest to Be Held at Private Location Without Fans

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, the Fourth of July tradition at New York’s Coney Island, will go on this year, but with a few adjustments. The contest will be held in a private location and with no fans in attendance, reports TMZ.
Read More
Is time real? Are birds real? Is any of this world real? Harry Shipp left the Sounders to go wrestle with some of life’s existential questions and left the rest of us behind IN ORLANDO WITH CALEB PORTER. Sounders sign two new players, but really they just signed one really tall man who is 100%...
Quick, three beers! The New Episode of Full 90 Soccer Time Tournament is back and we are taking a look at all groups of the MLS is Back tournament, except stupid boring group A, which sucks. We STILL don’t know how to watch the soccer, but the soccer is coming. We also discovered a lizard bird, so...
Dallas, Vancouver, and San Jose all walk into an Orlando for some freaky group stuff with Seattle, Fartland gets picked last, and we’re going to tell Group F we are just going out for a pack of smokes then leave them in Florida. MLS is Back Tournament draw is...back? No Gregr, so go give us 69...
MLS is Back and Chicago finally has a chance to win the World Cup. Scuba Steve knows that July and August could spell disaster for the Sounders, but we’ll all be up at 6am to see how it goes. Would you want to see this tournament every year? Also, hot jaw massage!
Sounders FC Logo

YES! Soccer Is Back and the Format is Incredible!

Tournament play begins July 8 in Orlando and I AM HERE FOR IT!
Read More