Manley's Pro Football Picks Week 8

October 29, 2015

Happy Halloween, you guys!  Despite being a Christmas baby, this might be my favorite holiday of them all.  I LOVE scary stuff!  Haunted houses, spooky movies, candy, all of it!  I especially like all the paranormal stories and shows that come out around this time of year.  When I was a kid I used to see ghosts all the time. I was totally the Sixth Sense kid.  Looking back, it must've really messed my parents up, to have their first born carrying on conversations with invisible people all the time. Its a miracle I didn't end up in therapy....some may say oversight. But I digress. I'd like to see some more ghosts again sometime, so if you got a line on a good REAL haunted house, please let me know.  On to the picks....

 

DOLPHINS VS PATRIOTS- Im still not sure how I feel about Thursday night games.  On the upside, its another night of football, but I have fantasy football players in this week's game and if they stink up the joint I have 3 extra days to complain and act like a baby.  Not a good look. Pick- Patriots

LIONS VS CHIEFS-  EVERY time I write "Chiefs" I have to look it up to make sure I'm right.  Then I have to say "great googly moogly." And then I have to laugh.  I wish the Chiefs were better, I could almost like them just for the name.  Pick- Chiefs

BUCCANEERS VS FALCONS- What's the best Halloween candy?  For me, its a Heath Bar.  The Gatsby of the candy world.  You see Skittles, Snickers, Butterfingers, etc all the time, but rarely do you find someone eating a Heath Bar on a Tuesday. So magestic! Its like a candy bald eagle. Pick- Falcons

CARDINALS VS BROWNS- Remember the satisfaction you'd get when you could con your friends into making candy trades that totally swung in your favor?  I bet NFL GMs still feel like that.  "I can't believe I tricked the Browns into trading me some draft picks for 2 Heath Bars and a full sized Butterfinger....I mean Johnny Manziel."  Pick- Cardinals

49ERS VS RAMS- Reports are circulating that Vernon Davis and Joe Staley got in a fight over Colin Kaepernick during a team meeting following their last loss.  Man, anytime your team holds a "private team meeting" after a loss you might as well start putting your season tickets up for sale on Stub Hub because 99% it means your season is OVAH! Pick- Rams

GIANTS VS SAINTS- Jason Pierre Paul is back at practice with the Giants, and his club hand is apparently quite the distraction.  Turns out everyone wants to see his (missing) digits. I get that. He is a living embodiment of one of those Youtube videos you know you don't want to watch because they are gorey and yet you can't turn away. Pick- Giants

VIKINGS VS BEARS- I know someone named Elizabethany, and every time I see the name all I can think is that her parents couldn't come to an agreement on what name to choose, so they just smashed two together.  How lazy. I also know a Deananna, and am convinced someone made a typo on the birth certificate and no one noticed until it was too late. I might be a terrible person, but I'm still better than Adrian Peterson. Pick- Vikings.

CHARGERS VS RAVENS- I read stats that tell me the Ravens are 1-6 but have only lost one of those games by more than 6 points and it makes me think that maybe they aren't as bad as we think and they are poised to go on a run.  ITS A TRAP! Pick- Chargers

BENGALS VS STEELERS- The Bengals roll into Pittsburgh undefeated, but rumor has it Big Ben Roethlisberger is supposed to be playing his first game since week 3. Seems like the perfect recipe for a Steelers upset win doesn't it? Pick- Steelers

TITANS VS TEXANS- Ryan Mallett was cut this week after missing a team flight. Dude, you have one job! Show up! And by the way, backup QB is the best job any athlete can ever have.  Think about it- You never have to worry about a 320lb DE breaking you in half, you never have to break a sweat, and if you somehow do end up in a game you can totally stink an no one will be mad because "welp, he's just a backup."  Dream job.  You really blew it Mallett. Pick- Texans

JETS VS RAIDERS- Pick- Jets

SEAHAWKS VS COWBOYS- Did you that you can smell like the Seahawks?  Well you can.  For the fan that everything except the smell of Beast Mode mixed with Gatorade and turf...12 Scents. Concerning, to say the least.  There are a lot of things I'd like to smell like (pumpkin spice, vanilla, tacos), but football player isn't one of them.  Pick- Seahawks

PACKERS VS BRONCOS- Oooh!  Its a battle between 2 undefeated teams. A real clash of the titans, if you will.  Here's the thing though, these games rarely live up to the hype.  IN THEORY (a cop out term writers use to make a bold prediction that will most likely be wrong but since its prefaced with "in theory" they can back out with no repurcussions.) the Packers should come close to murdering Payton Manning because he is completely stationary and GB blitzers will always know where he is in the pocket. Also, someone went in and edited Aaron Rodger's stats to 99 before the season started.  Pick- Packers in a blow out (IN THEORY!!!!)

COLTS VS PANTHERS- Its probably time to start taking the Panthers seriously.  They are undefeated, and despite the fact that no one can name a WR on their team, they average 27 points a game. Thats as many as the Packers!  They remind me of the girl/boy you meet at the bar who you don't think is that attractive but by the time you scroll to the end of their Instagram pics you realize that they are gorgeous. That's right, I'm saying the Carolina Panthers are sneaky hot. Pick- Panthers. 3

GAMEDAY FOOD CHOICE- Halloween candy OBVI!  Just remember, once you start down that sugary path you need to induldge every 25 min or so or you'll have a massive crash and end up sleeping through the night game, which is a good one this week (IN THEORY).  

YOU'RE THE REAL MVP- Have you ever heard of Ken M?  Well, he is the greatest internet troll in the history of the web.  I deal with a lot of trolls, being a public figure and all, and most of them are just knobs.  Ken M has perfected the art however, and I highly recommend checking out some of his best work, which can be found here, instead of watching Ten vs Hou or Det vs KC. Hey Ken M, you're the real MVP dawg....please don't troll me. 

Last Week's Picks: 10-4

Overall Record: 64-42

Hey! Don't forget to play Pigskin Payday and win money just for watching football!  Good luck everyone!