#sEATtle: Miller's Guild

September 9, 2015

I like to eat. A lot. Food is bae. So I figured I would post little reviews of the places I go, to give you a little insight and maybe some ideas on where you might want to nom with your friends or special someones. Plus it gives me an excuse to pig out on Seattle's best eats and not feel bad about it, because work! Before we start though, I want to make one thing perfectly clear, I am NOT a professional food nerd, nor do I want to be. I dont know the intricacies of French cooking. Heck, I dont even know how to spell "intricacies." It also means that if you ask me what the best burger is, I'll probably say Lil Woody's before I suggest any kind of "gourmet" burger, unless that gourmet burger has an egg on it. Then gourmet burger wins (any burger with an egg on it wins really.) Also, my idea of a fancy pizza is anything with more than 2 toppings. Basically what I'm getting at is consider these restaurant reviews for the comman man/woman. Got it? Good, let's roll!!!

RESTAURANT - Miller's Guild

ADDRESS - 612 Stewart St. 

WEBSITE - http://www.hotelmaxseattle.com/eat-drink/millers-guild/


First question- what kind of idiot orders martinis 5 minutes before your guest, who has the greatest wine collection you've ever seen and is bringing some choice bottles to dinner, shows up? Answer- This guy That said, Miller's Guild does pour a good martini (Grey Goose, dirty, thanks for asking) and it was a perfect way to end a long day of work and begin a long night of gluttony.  As for the wine, well, I'm not much of a wine guy so instead of pretending to sound smart and using phrases like "oakey aftertaste" or "something something, its an aggressive blend from Napa Valley" I will just say they were 2 Cabs from 2007 and tasted WAY better than anything you get out of a box or a QFC. 


Not that they weren't good, but when you go to Miller's Guild, its about cramming as much sweet delicious cow in your gullet, best not to waste any stomach room on stupid vegetables, even if they were delicious. I don't know if chucking them in water glasses is the most polite way to decline a second helping of carrots, but the point was made.  Also, look for carrot in water to be sold at Whole Foods soon for a mere $8. Miller's Guild does offer a nice array of starters if you do prefer to be civilized and not cavemen like us, I strongly suggest the tartar....because the only thing better than meat for the main course, is meat for 1st AND 2nd course! Speaking of main courses.....

I know. I know.  I licked my screen too. Say hello to the 90 day aged, 48 oz bone in rib-eye.  Yes, its served on a log.  Yes, its every single bit as good as you think it is.  And yes, by the time we were done there was nothing left. It looked like a crime scene.  At Miller's Guild, you can order indivdual steaks, and their pork chop is pretty incredible too, but if you don't go big and get something off the big board of dry aged meat cuts available on a first come first serve basis, you're doing it wrong.  Put it this way, I've been here quite a few times, and after eating one of the best pork chops I've ever had, I was still disappointed we didnt get one of the dry aged steaks.  That good. Grab a few friends, order for the table. Eat until you get the meat sweats.

OH!  We also had a few sides, the potatos fried in beef fat because obviously, and a fairly forgettable cauliflower dish. Turns out im a cauliflower snob, who knew? 


Do you really think there was room for dessert after eating a huge pile of french fries cooked in beef fat along with half a cow? Of course not!  I mean, if someone dared me I would've made room, but I swear at one point during the meal I heard my colon cry out in agony, so I abstained.  I did, however, manage to down a few fingers of Hudson Baby Bourbon, which was absolutely incredible.  It was also absolutely unnecessary, considering we had 2 bottles of wine for dinner, along with that dang martini! What can I say, I'm a sucker for any drink that is served with one of those huge ice cubes.  My friend has ones that are molded like the Death Star. The coolest.


Miller's Guild is one of my favorite steak joints in Seattle, and the look on your guest's faces when they wheel over a huge slab of meat, cooked to perfection and served on a log (SERVED ON A LOG!!!) is worth the trip alone.  To be fair, there are other places that cook great meats and might have a better variety of starters, but the fact that you order your meat off a chalkboard and enduce "ooh"s and "ahh"s from the entire restaurant when they bring it to your table is so worth it. 

On a scale of 1-5 meat sweats, Miller's Guild gets 4.5 meat sweats!